It'll Be Fine
by Saelym Exode
Summary: But it wasn't. It wasn't fine. They should've seen it coming. They could've stopped it. Why didn't they? Trigger warning: Suicide. Based off of canon.


**This is gonna be dark. Spoiler, but not really: Percy dies. I've seen a lot of Percy suicide fics, but they're mostly of him dying just to join Chaos' army or whatever. Also, for some odd reason, people believe that Nico is the suicidal one, which is way off. He's definitely of the broodier bunch, but while he may not really take care of himself, he's definitely NOT suicidal. However, in canon, Percy is showing all the major and several minor signs of being suicidal. Like, I'm surprised we aren't talking about this more. The kid is going to snap soon and he's either going to destroy a bunch of shite and feel hella guilty or he's gonna feel hella guilty and then just kill himself. Oh, and he's most likely NOT going to come back to life to extract revenge or whatever. Either way, Percy's future is not boding well...**

 **I guess I should warn y'all again. Trigger warning. Character death/suicide. Umm... yeah. Sorry.**

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In all honesty, they should've seen it coming. They should have. The greatest hero of their generation, possibly of all generations, who fought thousands of monsters and led them through many victorious battles, had been fighting a war, a losing one, for years and he had fought it alone. He shouldn't have had to fight it alone. They should have been there for him, saw through his façade, helped him as he has helped them.

It was, surprisingly, Travis and Connor who noticed that their leader seemed to be lethargic all of a sudden. They'd been trying to prank him and they almost got him. Normally, they wouldn't have been close. They confronted him. He smiled wearily and only said " **I'm just... tired. So, very tired...** " They nodded and told him to rest up.

What they didn't know, was that their hero **slept more** than was probably healthy for him. Clovis noticed, but he was always sleeping himself, so he said nothing and slipped back into his own dreams.

Hazel and Frank noticed he wasn't **hanging out** with them anymore. They thought it was just because he **didn't want to participate** in such stimulating activities. So they got books and papers and coloured pencils and hung out with him in his cabin. Yeah, his drawings were always of death or darkness, but they were demigods. All of them have a darkness in them and as long as it was getting out, things would be alright.

Clarisse and Reyna noticed that he when he would train the kids, he never seemed to be entirely... all there. He'd look **bored** and he sparred with dummies as if he were just going through the motions. There was **no emotion, no passion, no spunk**. They brushed it off. They had their own kids to train. Perhaps he was just trying to suppress his strength.

Dakota and Katie noticed how **quick he was to anger**. Quicker than before. Before, there was the calm before the storm. It gave them a heads up. Now, they could only watch in silence and fear as he shook with suppressed emotion over a dropped basket of strawberries. Earlier, he'd accidentally stepped on a rock and broke his sandals. Before that, he had fallen onto Miranda and snapped at her for being in the way. He had apologised, but it had come out forced. Katie breathed in, breathed out, then stood to calm down the son of the sea. Dakota went back to picking strawberries.

Jason, Nico, and Thalia were shocked when they saw their cousin **flinch** at the sound of a fallen branch. They were looking for monsters and all were aware of their surroundings, but he seemed to be over-aware. He was constantly **fiddling** with his pen, **searching** the forest as if it were the enemy, and his breathing came out in quick, too quick, bursts almost as if he were **hyperventilating**. They asked him if he was OK. He gave them a shaky grin " _It'll be fine..._ " They shrugged and kept going. They should have listened more carefully. It he said, not I.

Later, the three were talking to Annabeth. They told her of how **aggressive** he had been when they had fought the monsters. He had been **brutal** , hacking at them before delivering the fatal blow. Annabeth nodded sadly. She blamed herself, she dragged him into Tartarus. Tarturus was the reason for his actions. That's what they thought.

She sat with him the next day, he in the infirmary bed, her carefully drizzling nectar into his mouth. He still hadn't recovered fully from the fight the day before, yet he had **recklessly** joined in a random battle to help Carter and Sadie. He hadn't worn anything with pockets. Sadie thought he was the most badarse thing since she was born. Carter told a different story. "He **didn't even try to defend himself**." he told Annabeth "He just took the hits and dished them back." He placed a hand on her shoulder. "Is he alright?" Annabeth nodded. " _He has to be_ " That was everyone's thought. He _has_ to be fine.

Hestia became his confidant. No one else would listen. Everyone expected him to be strong. He felt **trapped, forced to retain this strong hero image for them**. **It hurt though. Oh gods, how it hurt**. Like he was drowning all over again. He tried to tell Hestia this, how much pain he was in, but he didn't know how. Then he stopped. Why was he **burdening her with his problems**? She didn't need that. Oh gods, maybe he was **being a burden to everyone**. They saw him for what he truly is: A Nobody. The pain was stronger now. He left. Hestia called him back to her. Begged him to speak of his pain, but he had shut himself down. " _It'll be fine. Thank you._ " But it wouldn't.

The Hero of Olympus sat on top of the big house, alone. Below he could see campers looking up at him. Piper was amongst them and she noticed how he was gazing, almost with lust, at the ground. He was hanging dangerously off the edge, he looked as if he would **fall any second and he seemed excited by it**. It scared her. She called him down, said she needed his help; she just wanted him down on the ground, safe. He shrugged and came down. Everyone breathed easily. He told her he couldn't help her, then he hugged her. Piper stood in shock. What was that for?

The Son of Neptune was in New Rome again. Julia was excited, as well as all the other children. When they finally saw him, it was all smiles and laughter. He played with everyone and hugged them **goodbye**. Told them he was gonna be **leaving soon**. They thought he meant leaving New Rome and they got sad. He laughed and grinned, Julia noticed it didn't reach his eyes though. " _It'll be fine..._ "

Carter and Sadie sat across their demigod friend as he told them he'd be leaving. Carter tried to ask where, he didn't quite like the empty look in his friend's eyes, but he just laughed and changed the subject. Sadie tried to get him to open up, in her own little annoying yet sincere way, but the hero had to leave. He hugged them goodbye.

Tyson and Grover were confused. Tyson now had a **necklace of simple wooden beads around his neck** and Grover was being told to **keep Anaklusmos safe** for the next hero. They tried to give them back, but the owner of the beads and sword just pat them on the back and told them "It'll be fine." Then their girlfriends had come and distracted them and the last they saw their brother and friend was when he had gone to the stables to take care of the pegasi.

Sally and Paul were proud of their son. He had told them he would be moving into his own apartment. They were perplexed when he said he wouldn't be taking any of his items with him. He just laughed and told them to keep them in remembrance of him, so that they don't get so lonely. Paul ruffled his hair and Sally kissed his forehead goodbye.

Poseidon finally got a hold of his child, the only mortal one alive at this time. He hugged him close to his chest as his child cried about **not having a purpose anymore** and asking what would happen if he just **disappeared**? Poseidon knew what was happening, but he didn't know how to stop it. Anything he could think of didn't seem to be the right thing. So he hugged him and told him "It'll be fine... I love you, no matter what. You have made me beyond proud." For once, the Son of Poseidon smiled, a true smile and hugged his dad one last time. He left and Poseidon sat there, thanking the fates that he was able to say those words to his child one last time and cursing himself for not being able to say anymore.

It was Chiron, the teacher of all the great heroes, who found him. He was just outside the Camp borders and he had been there for a while. A small but sharp knife lay in his hands, dried blood covering it and the arm. The world's best hero lay in a crumpled heap next to a tree trunk, his throat slit, but a smile on his face. Next to him, was a crumpled piece of paper. Chiron brushed the tears that were streaming down his face and picked it up. He didn't look at it, instead he solemnly picked up the fallen hero and took him back to camp. He dried the last of his tears and prepared to tell the Camps about their beloved hero's downfall. He only hoped they could recover from this mighty blow.

Rachel has awoken in her cave with a very vivid vision. She choked on sobs and curled up into a ball. She knew, in a few moments, the whole camp would be filled with anguished cries, and she shut her ears to cut off the sound of her own mangled gasps and sobs. She saw her best friend, the man she has loved once, slit his own throat, as if he were just casually slicing through a monster. For several days she had been having snippets of the same vision, but she could never tell who it was until now. She cursed herself for not telling anyone sooner, even if it hadn't been the hero, it could've been someone else. It was too late though. She thought of the note he had written and sobbed even harder. He hadn't even tried to write a lengthy message to his friends and family. Only three words.

It'll be fine.

But it wouldn't be fine. They could've saved him. They could've done more. And, for that reason, they could never forgive themselves for not being there for him. The Hero. Their Saviour. Their friend, brother, and lover. Their leader and comrade. Their Percy Jackson.

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 **Well that was fun... Not really, but I'm glad I wrote this. Of course, chances are, later on I'll reread this, see a bunch of mistakes and awkwardly worded sentences and try to fix it, but, for now, I'm content.**

 **To let y'all know, I bolded, what I think, were key phrases that point to suicidal thoughts. There are many warning signs, but the ones I chose were the ones that I saw as I read through the series and ones that I speculated would happen after he's fought all these major wars. Oh, which reminds me, I am assuming that Percy is going to be involved in another big scale war with Carter and Co as well as a war with the Norse gods. Just because he's Percy and Percy is involved in everything huge. So, those were the four wars I mentioned in the first paragraph...**

 **Umm... Yeah that's about it. If you have any questions, feel free to PM me or drop a review. Anyway...**

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